Days of Absence

i`m not the type who writes much about everything on daily basis in the net but as i`ve been gone in circulation for some time, i want so leave some sweet excuses.

…first things first, my little family meaning my hubby and i with my 4 year and 2 year old son embarked on a UN mission, first plan was one year then it turned out now to be over 1 year or maybe more.my husband was recently promoted as a Major and COO for the Austrian Battalion, making him the second highest officer in command of the Austrian Mission in UNDOF-Syria and the youngest (29) Major of this mission (proud of you buddy!).

…next, i am so getting weary of this travelling.i am seriously having a nervous breakdown.if others think its cool flying from place to place, crossing continents, living off in 5 star hotels…try it with 2 little boys and a husband that u often don`t see.i am having a hard time making homes in countries and houses that are not mine…if it`s not hard enough, arabs are charging us 800-1,500 USD on cockroach ridden houses that i swear, not even roaches would want to live on.i desperately miss Iloilo with 200 USD houses fit for a queen.

…i am at the moment so bored out of the cyber life, i manage to quit chatting in the messenger.it helped on my aching back—try it, get out and have a normal face to face conversation and regular social life, or bury yourself in the garden and plant crocuses or better yet, maggi kraut…it’s best at keeping those shell-less snails, the little bastards ate most of my plants out last year! and if it’s not even better, i came home last month in Austria to find my grass competing with the height of my toya trees.

…in Austria.i spent the weeks in my house trying to accept a life of a single mom as i did in the Philippines (Tom’s on a military mission to play with guns).my day starts with making creamed cacao for the boys, breakfast, lunch,vaccuming,washing—-oh, one year of absence creates one year of dirt!, buying new orchids(they all died, but not my tree, thank God!) , going for the groceries(we need all the fresh milk we could get), to the bread shop, and yes, to the playground, and make the boys walk for an hour to generate more heat as Winter knocks on the door and for me to lose more weight—for the record, walking plus worries and all the drama made me plummet to my college weight, a whooping 58 kilos—i didn’t really lose my excess skin on the stomach nor my stomach from the pregnancy, but from 64 to 58 is a good start, but the worry lines and my tragic heart dramas…NO.

…i lost 2 ipods, fuck that bastard that stole my shuffle! i gave my self a kick in the ass for washing my Nano and thank goodness, i convinced my husband to buy me itunes 8 with alot of conditions though.i found a new way to channel my anger instead of chatting and sitting for hours and getting fat, i went back to the gym.

…i nearly smashed the new imac Tom got.version 10.5.5, not a single internet wireless connection available, the latest is only for version 10.5.3 and i cant wait for 1 month til i get an A1 connection again.no sense to downgrade a program.i must admit it is the best computer i ever laid my eyes on.apple knows how to make the best, only if u are literate enough to use an apple and i have been using only microsoft for the past 15 years! it became my sons new dvd player, the poor imac.but the vision of 2 behaving toddlers sitting and watching lightning mcqueen in angelic behavior suits me well enough.so yeah, i learned to say ta tah to cyberspace.

…i manage to exchange some dollars to euro, i nearly dies with the exchange and destroyed my father in laws car(nearly, i wanted to throw a fit!)…1000 dollars is only 700 euro plus 12 euro in bank service charge.wanna live in Europe? well, u are free to come.

…i made way for media markt and got me the tiniest notebook i could find.an angelic little ACER with a linux program that took us weeks to crack until Tom found a genuis soldier that in the end set it up in windows like we all planned.learning to use apple and linux program, will be one of these days my mission when i fly back to Austria.i promised to enroll myself in a 3 week course and we will see if my apple wins over me (my imac might have the last laugh and if so, i wont tell u!).

…flew in to Damascus weeks ago.booked myself in Sheraton and freaked out with how much money comes out…transferred in Le Meridien that charges a whooping 150 euro for a regular room without breakfast freaked me more.plus, i just managed to ward off the advances of a real life sheik only to have my light bulb blinking afterwards and kicked me off-balanced…”u just ruined ur chances of having ur own personal chopper woman!!!”…oh, thanks but i’m married, not blissfully perfect but happy.have several fights with realtors that think Tom and i make money fall down from the sky by saying lalalala….well, they met me and i must say, i guess they dont want to meet me ever again, tsk.tsk.dont worry about me, u should have seen the other guys.

…im back in my old flat, from 700 USD a month(any flat in the Phils. can compete with this number, it was reduced to 600 after i threw another bitch fit—why do people dare to always take advantage of others?) , well, seems all is well except that im not on the city center.not bad though, with a toyota prado, i couldn`t care less, i just don`t want to see that arab smiling in victory if i agreed to get a 30sq. meter flat for 1,200 USD a month or the other one that wants more commission for a flat on the 12th floor with a broken elevator! i will sit and argue with the only 5 arabic words i know to any taxi driver that will take me to the center if Tom is not around but they will definitely not have my money.

…my new passion is drowning myself to sam and dean winchester, i dont have an Impala to love but i have my new travel companion, more precious than my notebook or ipod…my tiny portable dvd player.i just love it so much!if i get extra 300 USD maybe i`d get that gardget that can store about 10,00 books.saw it on Oprah, i forgot what`s it called.dont help!!!!i’ll find it later when i click on the next window.i just need to rattle.

…i spend the day yesterday scolding Tom for being late and run across Damascus looking for shoes to pair for my gray dress.1 new Zara bag and one Zara dress  later i end up wearing a lace number from the high street that knocked its way to Mango and sky high pink heels that nearly left me on a wheelchair.i might go there tomorrow and peel the skin off the saleslady that convinced me that it’s real nice.40 minutes late for the Ambassador’s Reception, i finally found not one but 3 babysitters, thank god!

…4 Seasons Hotel.i walked bravely and pittifully in the cobblestoned path to four seasons.the Argentinian ambassador decided to park his amazing Mercedes in the middle of the road blocking what would be a good parking.With my new Major Thomas Pittracher on an A-dress, i was introduced to the new Austrian Ambassador, got kisses in my hands from the military attachés, leutenant colonels and all, i treated myself to  3 glasses of redwine to ward off the cold i feel as a result of wearing a tiny little lace dress.oh, did i mention the chicories are nice?the little burgers are damn sour and the cheesecake is heavenly.gulash for an Austrian night is a must.so, a few smiles to the photographers, and meeting everybody that thinks they are all important— what did i get?

…i came home minus 300 USD for my entire ensemble and find myself in a house of mess, created by my sons and the babysitters for the night.the CINDERELLA game is over.i am back to scrubbing floors and pots once again.on the brighter side, Dean and Sam are waiting for me…

Mount Hermon, mysteries, fallen angels (The UN Golan Journal)

  Sep 24, ‘08

Mount Hermon: A Gate of Mystery Mt. Hermon, known as Har Hermon in Hebrew and Jabal el-Shaiyk in Arabic is a mountain in the anti-Lebanon mountain range, this summit is on the border between Syria and Lebanon and is under Syrian control. The highest of its three peaks (all of which are snow-covered in winter and spring) rises to 9,232 ft (2,814 m). Its seasonal snow melt is important to the headwater flow of the Jordan River. Mt. Hermon, a sacred landmark in ancient Palestine, is mentioned often in the Bible as Hermon, Sion, Senir, and Shenir. The name Baal-Hermon records the reverence in which it was held by the worshipers of Baal. The Romans also revered it, as did the Druze (there is a Druze shrine near Hasbayya).

Following the Bloodtrail:

Israel has possessed Mt. Hermon’s southern and western slopes since the 1967 Arab-Israeli War. They are used for winter skiing and as observation points for the for the Israeli military.At present, it also serves as the highest permanent manned position of the United Nations.

Sadly, there are hardly any intensive studies made or written documents and research materials that focuses on the ancient and biblical history of the mountain due mainly to the Arab and Palestinian conflicts throughout the years.The mountain itself is a living witness, if only its grounds could tell us about the lives lost, the explosions and  the cries of the women of this former land of Canaan*.

Biblical Accounts:

Hermon means “Forbidden Place”, or sometimes interpreted as the  “anathema”(from a 4th century translator of  the Latin Vulgate Bible) , the mountain  itself is believed to be a port of entry for  group of wicked angels who corrupted the human race during the days of Noah. The Grigori (Watchers),as told of in Biblical apocrypha (Book of Enoch and Jubilees)  mated with mortal women, giving rise to a race of hybrids known as the Nephilim who are described as giants in Genesis (Gen. 6:4).

Moses wrote: The sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose…There were giants in the earth in those days, and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of reknown” (Gen. 6:1-4).

The Apocryphal Book of Enoch and other texts

*The Grigori or the Watchers.  “The Watchers then called the mountain Hermon because they have sworn on it and bound themselves mutually with a curse”(Enoch 6:1-6).

The story of the Nephilim is chronicled more fully in the Book of Enoch (part of an Ethiopian biblical canon). Enoch, as well as Jubilees, connects the origin of the Nephilim with the fallen angels, and in particular with the Grigori (watchers). The “watchers” were sent to Earth simply to watch over the people but as soon as they descended upon Ardîs, the  summit of Hermon they began to lust over the mortal women they see and at the prodding of their leader Samyaza*, they defect en masse to marry and live among men.A passage in Genesis that speaks of the Great Flood  implies that the Nephilim actually came to the earth, at least twice. The first of which were destroyed in the flood, and the second succeeding the flood. Thus it is possible the “giants of Canaan” were the direct result of the Nephilim. In the Hebrew Bible, there are a number of other words that, like “Nephilim”, are sometimes translated as “giants” and maybe well linked with the Greek Titans.

*Canaan settled in the area of Mt. Hermon and southwards to what  was to become Abraham`s Promised Land.This is also the  reason why the Promised Land was called “Canaan” during the times of Moses and Joshua.

Anakim. Anakim or Anakites, the descendants of Anak that dwelt in the south of Canaan. In the days of Abraham, they inhabited the region afterwards known as Edom and Moab, east of the Jordan river. They are mentioned during the report of the spies about the inhabitants of the land of Canaan. The book of Joshua states that Caleb* finally expelled them from the land, excepting a remnant that found a refuge in the cities of Gaza, Gath, and Ashdod. The Philistine giant Goliath, whom David later encountered, was supposedly a descendant of the Anakim.

Rephaim.The Book of Joshua gives this title to a group of Aborigines that  were afterwards conquered and dispossessed by the Canaanite tribes, the text states that a few of them survived, and one of them being Og the king of Bashan. Only Og king of Bashan was left of the remnant of the Rephaites. His bed was made of iron and was more than thirteen feet long and six feet wide. It is still in Rabbah of the Ammonites”.

As stated in the Bible, we can as well follow what happened afterwards in the Book of Enoch as well as the Book of Jubilees; The children produced by this relationship are savage giants who pillage the earth and endanger humanity, Samyaza, Azazel* become corrupt and began teaching the men to make metal weapons,cosmetics, and other neccessities of civilization that has been kept secret. But the people started dying and cried to the heavens for help.God sent the Great Flood to rid the Earth of the Nephilim but sent Uriel* to warn Noah so as not to eradicate the human race.The “Grigori” are then bound in the Valleys of the  Earth until the day of Judgement.

Baalhermon

The tribe of Dan moved to this area on the day of the Judges and adopted the Canaanite worship of these angels. Baal and Ashtaroth were Canaanite deities whose origin was Mount Hermon (at the ruins of the Baalshamin Temple today, stands the United Nations highest observation post and a few meters away from it is the cave of the Prophet Elijah). The Book of Judges also refers to Mount Hermon as Baalhermon saying, “Namely  five Lords of the Philistines, and all the Canaanites, and the Sidonians, and the Hivites that dwelt in Mount Lebanon, from Mount Baalhermon unto the entering of Hamath:”(Judges 3:3)

In the excavations of Baalbek in a  town of  the Beeka Valley of Lebanon (renamed Heliopolis by the Greeks) , the Phoenecians built their first temples honoring the God Baal, the Sun God, from which the city got its name.Same is  with Sidon or Palmyra but the Baal Temple on Mount Hermon was by far the most venerated since the time of Abraham, the mountain being the “chief” of all mountains in  Palestine.

Baal worship is the leading religion of Canaan, on the high peaks of the country are shrines known as  the “high places”, as Mount Olympus is to the Greeks - the higher the holier. Here grooves were planted and shrines were erected for worship. Since Hermon towered in all the mountains in the region, it became the shrine of shrines. Canaanites look to Mount Hermon as Moslems pray towards the direction of Mecca.

In 1934,  Dr. Stewart Crawford and Reginald Haupt led a small expedition to all ancient shrines surrounding Mount Hermon and found that each altars were oriented so as  the priest and devotees face the chief Baal sanctuary or Quibla, the highest of the three peaks of Hermon. They also found out that the Temple of Baal in Mount Hermon is consructed of Herodian Maasonry which dates to the previous and early Christian Era. In a low place near the northwest corner of the temple were loads of ash and burnt bone, which have been dumped as a refuse from sacrifices.

During the ministry of Jesus , He and his disciples visited Caesarea Philippi at the slope of Mt. Hermon where Jordan River springs forth, “Whom do men say that I the Son of Man am?”. The ancient city of Caesarea Philippi was at its foot. Mt. Hermon is traditionally designated as the scene of the Transfiguration (Matt 17:1-9, Mark 9:2-8,Luke 9:28-36), an event reported by the Synoptic Gospels in which Jesus is transfigured upon a mountain, becomes radiant, speaks with Moses and Elijah, and is called “Son” by God. The transfiguration put Jesus above Moses and Elijah, the two pre-eminent figures of Judaism. Mount Tabor in Israel is traditionally identified as the Transfiguration Scene as decribed in the 5th century Transitus Beatae Mariae Virginis but Richard France, a New Testament scholar noted that Mount Hermon is closest to Caesarea Philippi,as mentioned in the previous chapter of Matthew.

*Samyaza. Samyaza is most likely another name for Satan (Heb: ‘the adversary), who was originally an entity created in the service of God; he was the caretaker of God’s throne, but later fell from the heavens because of his pride according to Isaiah 14:12-15 and Ezekiel 28:12-18. Jesus states that he saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning in Luke 10:18. His name could be read as, ‘infamous rebellion’, rather fitting since he was originally the most powerful angel in heaven but then he sinned by rebelling against God.He  said to have  taught Men Herbal Enchanments and Medicine.

*Azazel.One of the chief Angels that descended in Mount Hermon. “And Azazel taught men to make swords and knives and shields and breastplates; and made known to them the metals [of the earth] and the art of working them; and bracelets and ornaments; and the use of antimony and the beautifying of the eyelids; and all kinds of costly stones and all colouring tinctures. And there arose much godlessness, and they committed fornication, and they were led astray and became corrupt in all their ways.”Enoch 8 1-3

*Caleb.son of Jephunneh, an important figure in  the Hebrew Bible noted for his faith  in God.

*Uriel.One of the Archangels whose Hebrew name translates to  “the Fire of God”.

The Tribe of Dan          

 “Dan is a loin`s whelp; he shall leap from Bashan”(Deut.33:22), “ A serpent in the way, an adder in the path.”(Gen. 49:17)

According to the Book of the Judges the Danites relocated to the northern reaches of the Promised Land and settled at the foot of Mount Hermon in the territory of Bashan and adopted the Canaanite religion of Baal and Ashtaroth, eventually they left the area and become the “Lost Tribe”.

The Acheans, one of the collective names used for the Greeks in Homer’s Iliad  or sometimes referred to as the Danaans established the same religious practices that the Danites adopted in Mount Hermon.The Greek Mythology is an elaborate reinvention of the Danite religion , the Acheans called their messenger of the gods “Hermes”, a variation of Hermon whom the Romans thereafter called Mercury. Hermes has a son named Pan which today is assumed by some as the corruption of the name Dan. Today, Caesarea Philippi is called Banias as there is no “P”  sound in the Arabic Language. The older form was “Paneas”, meaning the city of Pan, a pagan god that was worshiped there. Eventually, it was renamed Caesarea Philippi  in 4B.C.  The area became the tetrarchy of Herod`s son Philippus and remained until the reign of Nero.

Pan means “all things, all god or all life”. Therefore, when the Romans built a temple to honour all their gods, they called it the “Pantheon” (from Pan, the son of Hermes and `theo´ meaning gods. This concludes that Mount Hermon, with its infamous “fallen angels” has been absorbed into the mythologies of other ancient cultures.

Early theologians like Hippolytus and Irenaeus said that the AntiChrist would come from the tribe of Dan, the Greek King Alexander the Great claimed to be born  of  the “seed of a serpent”, and the Roman Emperor Nero seemed to have descended from the Danites.When he came to rule the Roman Empire, he renamed Ceasaria Philippi “Neronias” or the city of Nero in honor of himself.

The Prophet Elijah and Baalhermon

Elijah or Elias is a 9th century B.C. prophet that appears in the Christian Bible, Hebrew Bible, Talmud, Misnah andd Qu`ran. According to the Books of Kings, Elijah raised the dead, brought fire down from the sky, and ascended into heaven by a whirlwind. In the New Testament, both Jesus and John the Baptist are on some occasions thought to be Elijah. He is also one of two Old Testament figures,along with Moses who appeared and conversed with Jesus during the Transfiguration.

Perhaps, the best known story about the prophet is his challenge against Baal on behalf of the God of Israel. Elijah’s challenge, uncharacteristic of his behaviour in other episodes of his story in the Bible, is bold and direct–Baal was the local nature deity responsible for rain, thunder, lightning, and dew. Elijah not only challenges Baal, but also Ahab, the king of Israel ands Ahab`s wife, Queen Jezebel who is also the high priestess of Baal and the people of Israel.

“Hear, O daughter, consider, and incline your ear; forget your people and your father’s house; and the king will desire your beauty. Since he is your lord, bow to him; the people of Tyre will sue your favor with gifts. (Psalms 45:10-12)”

As the legend goes, Ahab had a temple of Baal erected  following his marriage to Jezebel, and she brought in a large entourage of priests and prophets of Baal into the country.Elijah then confronted Ahab and his queen, and prophecized the coming drought, “a drought so sever, not even a dew will fall…”(1 King 17:1).Following this  confrontation, Elijah flees to a brook near Cherith, east of Jordan where he was fed by  the ravens and afterwards sought refuge in a house of a widow in the town of Zarephath in Phoenicia.

On the contrary, other versions of this story points us back to the cave on top of Mount Hermon, a few meters away from the temple of Baal.In summer times, the cave is filled with litters of food among others, left by the pilgrims coming from Lebanon who have climbed the mountain to honor  the prophet.Some of them claim that there is another cave underneath the Temple of Baal.And if they are  right, it might explain the stairs that led down to the earth.Legend tells that Elijah stayed here to discourage , disuade and to ward off the pagan followers (another versions speaks of Mount Carmel in Israel, however, the place is not high enough to be considered a holy place and there are no traces of a Baalshamin Sanctuary) .

The Ravens

The ravens that have fed Elijah have been queried, the Hebrew text (1 King17:1-6) uses the word that would mean `raven´, but in a different vocalization would equally mean `arabs´.Alternatives followed after the years of objections to the traditional translation that ravens are ritually unclean (Leviticus 11:13-17), as well as physically dirty; it is difficult to imagine any method of delivery of the food which is not disgusting.

Prof. John Gray on the other hand chose the word arab and his translation of the verse goes: And the word of Yahweh came to Elijah saying, Go hence and turn eastward and hide thyself in the Wadi Kerith east of the Jordan, and it shall be that thou shalt drink of the wadi, and I have commanded the Arabs to feed thee there. And he went and did according to the word of Yahweh and went and dwelt in the Wadi Kerith east of the Jordan. And the Arabs brought him bread in the morning and flesh in the evening and he would drink of the wadi.

The Challenge

Elijah proposes a test of the powers of Baal and the God of Israel. The people of Israel, 450 prophets of Baal, and 400 prophets of Asherah are summoned to Mount Hermon(Mount Carmel?), two altars are built, one for Baal and one for the God of Israel. Wood is laid on the altars. Two oxen are slaughtered and cut into pieces; the pieces are laid on the wood. Elijah then invites the priests of Baal to pray for fire to light the sacrifice. They pray from morning to noon without success. Elijah ridicules their efforts. They respond by cutting themselves and adding their own blood to the sacrifice. They continue praying until evening without success.

Elijah orders that the altar of the God of Israel be drenched with water. He asks God to accept the sacrifice. Fire falls from the sky, igniting the sacrifice. Elijah seizes the moment and orders the death of the prophets of Baal. The rains begin, signaling the end of the famine.

Scholars think that the account represents a more legendary description of a storm, during which the altar on Mount Hermon was struck by lightning; rather than a prayer for fire, scholars think that the account of Elijah’s actions at the altar actually describes a rain-making ritual.Also, there is no biblical reason to assume that the account of Elijah’s victory refers to any particular part of Mount Carmel, scholars found an altar in the area that is assumed to be the prophet`s altar, but in the end, all points to the highest venerate mountain of Baal, Mount Hermon.

* Jezebel.daughter of the king  of Sidon in Phoenicia.

Mount Hermon Today                                            

The Israeli region is governed by the Golan Heights Law.It also contains the country`s only skiing area.The Syrian government also revealed plans of a multi billion ski resort in the slopes  of the mountain. Since 1996, a small group of Lebanese pilgrims led by Michel Malik of Rashaya, have climbed to the top of Mount Hermon annually for the feast of Jesus’ transfiguration on August  6. The group includes Christians of various denominations as well as Druze. Inspite its religious diversity, the group is Christ-centered, and most of its members participate in the Maronite mass celebrated on the mountaintop. At the moment, no further archeological, historical or religious expeditions has been made but as it seems, peace is somehow slowly achieved despite the darkness of the mountains past.

Ma. Zoe Razel C. Pittracher

United Nations Golan Journal

Seasons by Rene Trance

*poem written for me by my friend Rene, a fellow History  flick and lover, a friend, one of the few that remains closest to my heart, i love and miss you dear! Kamaragtas rules, i miss our UP Miagao days a lot I miss brainstorming with you and Joyce and Ghia, i miss the UP Kamaragtas days, days in the library (im  always absent…sorry), i miss the action in  Russian History class with Sir Joefe, even if were always on the frontline, at least , upod kita, plus, Miss. "harbor" Colon hides Zeliwensky(lipat na ko baya mag spell geeeze!) for us, may photocopy ta always!Her love life is blossoming, bless her!And i am always praying for you and your beautiful soul, i wish you all the best, you are a good friend and im lucky to have you, i wont exchange you for 10 others, not in a million years!

July 13, 2008

seasons

11 july 2008, upv language program office

for zoe

every year,

just after my birthday,

the wind changes its direction

just like the sun turning its face

away from the heavens.

maybe, the sun wants

to be closer to the earth

where everything

needs her, even those

in the depths of the sea.

yet, every year,

days before my birthday,

i take a vacation

for the sun would not see

how my pores size up

after the falling leaves…

by:Rene Trance

After the Storm …(griefs,rantings and thank you`s)

…typhoon fengshen has left terrible damage to the Philippines…P20 million peso worth of crops are damaged, death poll is still raising, destroyed cities and towns…one of them, my province, and city of Btac2 Iloilo, the town of Dumangas has it worst and my town, Barotac Viejo, my brother just sent me photos of what was once the Barotac Viejo Medical Center, the only one in the 5th district is now operating in the covered gym, the water covered the whole building…(the province of the Aklan and the world-class island resort of Boracay didn`t escape Ffengshen`s fury…sob)i am speechless, and yes, grieving.
    
My husband called the up 2 days ago when he saw the news flash in the Phils., i opened the internet and saw read about Governor Niel Tupas of Iloilo in Reuters and yahoo news, i immediately texted my sister ,brother and Mayor Raul Tupas to check if Barotac is fine, my family is ok but the rest– no.My brother couldn`t go home because u need raft to cross, houses are covered up to the roof, waters on the streets and major highways reaches up the neck.My uncle just drove his family up to the higher grounds and came back to find only the roof of what was once his house.
    
Typhoon Fengshen was not the strongest Iloilo or the Philippines has ever seen, I remember bagyo Undang when i was still in elemantary school, i saw four roofs from the school building flying across the street, gigantic mango trees crashing in front of my eyes with a few gushes of the winds, Fengshen is not strong yet the endless raining breached the dam in Iloilo causing heavy flash floods.
    
Not to mention the ignorance and irresponsibility of the authorities of the Sulpicio Lines and of the Philippine Coastguard for allowing the ill-fated ship to travel last friday during terrible weather conditions…only 23 are determined to have survived in the 740 pssengers that sailed that day, instead of coming home to their families, they encountered their watery graves, may God have mercy on their souls and may they find peace.
    
Devastating and sad, this is so far the worst maritime disaster since the 1987 tragedy of Dona Paz(also owned by Sulipicio Lines) when it collided with an oil tanker, casualties running almost up to 4,500.
    
I considered donating 200$ but then realized that this money wont really help so much and remembered the soldiers of the UNDOF mission here in Syria, i thought, skipping a beer for 1 day will make a big difference in Pinas.Some were very helpful, i was so glad, my husband surprised me by writing letters, sending it to each HQ Coy.Some have real genuine good hearts, they didn`t say a thing, just opened their wallets and gave, and promised to give more.(tom and i collected money from people of around 13 nations!) But some were very mean and naive, some scold others that bothered to give 5$ (i wont mention names), like:"how dare his fellow countryman give 5$, this is not their problem and they have alos their own disaster and that what if he also goes around walking with a piece of paper asking for some donations",(he can do that, he has the right, like how i did it, we wont stop him)…but as no one thought of this before, i cant help him. .
    
Some say the Red Cross there, it`s there problem… (for your information, there is Red Cross yes, but for 23 years that i lived there, they were not really helping, what can they do?Their funds are corrupted, therefore individuals like me and some others step up and do the initiative on their own, the only thing Red Cross can do in my country is buy plasma! and if blood is needed, they even have none to provide! — kudos to the very helpful civilians that braved to storm to help others), it`s not our problem, how do we know it goes to the people or to the proper authorities , or why should we help, its not oUr country, it`s not like the Tsunami that is big disaster (i donated there too you heartless bastards! and i made sure my money went to the right people therefore i didn`t even picked the UNICEF!), and some ignoramus says: hell, Philippines? Where, which,what`s that?Oh, duh, uggh, arrgh…Asia, that`s far, im sure the flood wont reach us here…etc. etc. etc. .
    
Like what i said i am grateful to the officers of UNDOF-AUSBATT, to the UNDOF personnels,to the soldiers and to my friend Mesto(a syrian) that immediately gave without a word of two.This is charity work, i am not imposing, i am not forcing or implementing on anybody, may gana lang hatag(if your willing, please, i am grateful), but i am not willing to face this shit-talk, i have more things to think about, therefore i passed the hat.I am thinking yes, of how to distribute the donations(as some raised their points) proper.
    
To answer the question, my sister is the executive secretary to Mayor Raul Tupas, a distant cousin, the Governor, his father is our Uncle, i plan mainly to use the money to buy rice,clothes and to feed the children mainly in Barotac and the 5th district.If the amount would rise (tom and i collected 840$- P40,000 depending on the exchange down there) i might help re-build the medical center.
    
The money and distribution of aid(rice,medicine, clean water,etc.) will be regulated by my grandfather, former head teacher Gedeon Octavio, and for feeding the kids, my aunt, Gwedalyn Pelagio, master teacher III and teacher in charge of ROVCMS will see that everyone esp. the homeless children are taken cared of.I also asked them to get the neccessary medicines, and formalin(embalming fluid) for the dead, as death tolls are slowly raising, we need to bury the dead fast or we will face more problems in health and sanitation, etc. 
    
Bangon Iloilo! The tradegy opened my eyes…once, i was donating not because i want to with all my heart, i sponsor my sister`s Baroto sa Lutac Race for my own good or have my face printed in the souvenir program and t-shirt , i want to make sure i am remembered in my town, by the politicians, to get myself into the "favor bank" once im back.
    
I am Guilty! But this time its diferrent, finally, Tom managed to send half of what we collected, we were in the only western union here in Syria yesterday but were informed that they are not accepting money sending anymore, they only recieve money(a question i want to raise on my own…what will people recieve if nobody is allowed to send?duh?Im having a headache pipol, aspirin please!) , we`ll thank god, they accept internet sending, via visacard, cost more but yeah, it matters not, i want to help, im not screaming it on the top of my lungs but with all humility…help is coming mga Kasimanwa, and more will come.In return, i ask for prayers, for those that passed away and for the end of graft and corruption in our country and for this selfish people, (even the pinoys that work in the UN) that were not willing to give and were skeptical at me and tom(it`s their right to be, im cool with it) that they may find peace and a heart one day. To those that helped, thank you so much, i am overwhelmed with so much joy, and am very grateful to find good souls in a warzone.
    
May God Bless you all.
    
Zoe,
    
Warzone,Syria

I am a filipina

…this article is written by  a close friend of mine, Joyce and was published in Panay News and Iloilo news online as well as pinayspeak…i knew her since i was a freshman back in college…it’s funny that we’ve been friends for so long and life wasn’t all easy, dati, if we thought our date with jose rizal or the czar of russia is the worst nightmare, try the real world…but amidst everything, our friendship prevailed despite the distance.This story is not only about me, but to every other women, women that are single, wives, mothers, women with careers…this is a celebration of womanhood.I believe what u said sister, that we have to uphold our femininity, it is a gift.thank you for believing in me…cheers!

I am a Filipina

By: Joyce Christine D. Colon

I am the wife and the virgin
I am the mother and the daughter
I am the arms of my mother
I am barren and my children are many
I am the married woman and the spinster
I am the woman who gives birth and she who never procreated
I am the consolation of the pain of birth
I am the wife and the husband
And it was my man who created me
I am the mother of my father
I am the sister of my husband
And he is my rejected son
Always respect me
For I am the shameful and the magnificent one……

- 3rd or 4th century B.C., from the Nag Hammadi documents

The poem is an excerpt from the Hymn to Isis. Isis is a prominent goddess in Egyptian mythology. A goddess of rebirth, she remains to be one of the most known images of utter femininity and empowered women. Every inch a woman. Isis embodies the strengths of the feminine, the capacity to feel deeply about relationships, the act of creation, and the source of sustenance and protection.

Beautiful. This was the first thought that came to my mind after reading the Hymn to Isis. Zoe gave the poem to me. Zoe is a friend whose passion for literary works and historical imaginations have given her a special place in my heart. Despite of the thousand miles that separate us, we never fail to keep in touch with each other. With the passage of time our friendship grows like the flower that blooms in the garden. Reminding ourselves that we must continuously live for others to show that life is beautiful despite of everything.

For Joyce, for being a woman like me. Short but meaningful, those simple words of dedication from her made me realize that this friend of mine has come a long way from her journey in life. No longer the uncertain and almost clueless girl that I met during my first year in college, she has emerged from her cocoon like a butterfly in a metamorphosis. I have known her story and I know life hasn’t been easy for her. She has earned my admiration not only because she is a good friend but more importantly because she is an example of the few women I know who always stand tall with their head high in times of adversities in life. Never losing the courage and faith in their self and to the Man above.

Well-endowed and beautiful in her long curly hair, she exhibits a picture of femininity that has long earned admiring stares from men. Gentle in character yet she speaks with that great conviction about things that truly matters to her. Family, society and life in general. She has her own mind about almost everything under the sun. She married early but she confessed to have never regretted this decision. She has chosen a different path from us when she decided to marry her knight and forego the chance to be a career woman. When the rest of us are busy pursuing our master’s degree and PhD, she is also busy pursuing a different kind of graduate studies, only this time with diapers, teething problems and marital blues. Despite of these things,however, she continues to believe in the beauty of her dreams. After all these years, she has not given up the idea of writing her ideas down and have them published. Tom, her husband, has been supportive all the time. She would often mused that to me. And in times like these I would always smile and just be completely happy for my friend. I guess, she has found her place under the sun.

Women have always held places of honor in ancient history. We have goddesses that personify the attributes of beauty, intelligence and courage. In the days when history was recounted around the family fires, people worshiped a supreme female creator. Beginning with the Neolithic period around 7000 b.c., women, revered as wise, valiant, powerful, just, and immortal, were honored.
They were called by many names, including the Great Goddess, Divine Ancestress, Mother Goddess, Creatress of Life, Mistress of Heaven, Our Lady, and High Priestess.
The female’s ability to produce a child made her the object of the male’s worship; women were the magical birth-givers and breast-feeders who nurtured the young. These words from Sandra Fold Walston’s “Courage: Heart and Spirit of Every Woman”, illustrates how some of us today have forgotten the beautiful gift of giving life. Not every woman can actually say that she has the privilege to experience both the pain and joy of giving birth. It is always an honor for a woman to be a mother. I think it is one of the most wonderful personifications of femininity. Zoe and all the women like her have shown that to me.

With a radiant smile on her face, she would always say that being married to a wonderful man and having kids are one of her greatest achievements in life. Now, how many women could actually say that? Because of this she has earned my utmost respect. Maybe she has chosen a different path from mine. But her faith in herself and the way she stands firm with her decisions in life are traits that makes her as a a woman of substance. Zoe is married to an Austrian and this simple fact often becomes the source of discrimination against her. She has often been accused of marrying her husband as a ticket out of poverty. Simply absurd if you ask me. She belongs to a prominent family and is a graduate of a well-respected university in the country. There are people who think (foreigners and sadly yes, Filipinos, too) that Filipino women who are married to foreigners are gold diggers. If I may say, some of us are just ignorant fools.

In the eyes of other people,Zoe is maybe an ordinary housewife. But she’s the best mom any child could wish for and the best wife a man could ever have. I am not saying this because I’m her friend. But her loyalty and devotion to her family is simply amazing. In everything she do, she do it with much love and affection. A fact that brings into mind the importance of family in the Philippine culture. Many women have decided to give up their careers and invest their time and energies in rearing their families. If that is their choice, who are we to question it? If we are proud of those women who made a name for themselves in fields dominated by males, why can’t we be equally proud for those who have chosen a different path? I come from the opposite pole but I have never looked down on women who have opted to travel the road to motherhood and exchange their wonderful careers for it.

Sometimes some of us think that a woman could only be successful if she makes a name for herself in areas where men have dominated. Truth be told, yes, this maybe the trend. But there are other ways to show them that we are NOT just sugar and spice and everything nice.

Behind every great woman is herself. In many ways, the phrase captures the essence of being a woman in the Philippine society. At times, it is tough to go against the glass ceilings and having to deal with the multiple burdens. However, I have met quite a number of our own empowered women who were never afraid to go against the grain. Physically, emotionally and spiritually beautiful. Witty. Wise. Empowered. Because of them, I have always been proud to say I am a Filipina. . With all the Filipina mail order brides and porn sites in the internet, I still stand firm to my belief that our women are not just easy on the eyes. We have real brains and character to reckon with. It’s not enough for us to say that we are proud to be Pinays. We should act on it. We should walk the talk. Those words become meaningless if other people cannot find something noteworthy about us.

This is not something new. Filipino women are regarded with respect as our history would tell us. Our pre-colonial social structure gave equal importance to maternal and paternal lineage. This bilateral kinship system accorded our women enormous power. Egalitarian relationship existed between the native Filipino men and women. Male and female offspring were both regarded as an important part of the family. Women had an honored position in the society which had been disregarded with the coming of the colonizers.

Like the woman that Isis portrays, women’s multiple roles in the society are reflections of their resiliency and flexibility in the face of adversities as well as their power to breathe life and color in this earth. It’s not basically the question of who welds power over whom or who is the stronger sex or what have you. In the end, it all boils down to the concept of making choices that truly empowers an individual. A conscious choice that brings out the best in us and makes us a nation of people who are proud of our women and our culture.

my blogs are on http://inwetinehtele.multiply.com

…im not blogging here, because  i don’t want too ;)  my pics are all  on multiply coz the page and everything else is as simple as  one click.anyway for moms like me that need some recipes and all the newest concoctions, try checking out my homepage, i got some stuffs there all brewed  up…in the meantime i  have  to go back  to my mom job…met u up in multiply! alles gute! zoe